After my fashion

'For the date of my own birth, I repeat, my own birth, I have never forgotten, I never had to note it down, it remains graven in my memory, the year at least, in figures that life will not easily erase. The day itself comes back to me, when I put my mind to it, and I often celebrate it, after my fashion, I don't say each time it comes back, for it comes back too often, but often.'

Samuel Beckett, 'First Love'

Well, it's that time of year again. And despite its inevitability, I can never quite get used to it. I've never been entirely comfortable with birthdays. Or at least with my own.

I'm now another year older - another! - and discovering that age brings its own unique set of perks and drawbacks. On the one hand, I have a patience for long car rides, can appreciate a sunset, and am suddenly aware of the rules of bridge. On the other, my memory is beginning to fail and I'm susceptible to draughts. I'm still waiting a few more years for the wisdom and clarity to kick in. That is, if I don't cast off the mortal coil and spend the rest of eternity among the stones.

Hmm. Too negative. I need to get a grip, and gather some perspective on my situation. I am, after all, still a young man. (Although 'man' is never a term I've never really felt applied to myself. I still consider myself a 'boy', all things considered.) But I now have certain responsibilities and imperatives in my life, albeit imagined. But, fabricated or not, they give me something to aim for, something to aspire to. And that's what we all need, isn't it? Something to move towards in our lives?

There are two types of goal: the short-term goal and the long-term goal. My current short-term goal is to establish a long-term goal - and vice-versa. I'll keep you updated on how that develops. And develop it must, because there's no stopping Father Time. Before we know it, that special day of the year will be upon us again: the king and queen of anniversaries. All that reflection and self-analysis, all that summing-up. 

I've heard it rumored that some folk actually celebrate their birthdays! Now that would be something, don't you think?